Weblog
Sunday, 17 May 2009
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Transitioning Into Adulthood
This is one of the biggest issues parents of Autistic/Asperger children face. Transiting into adulthood is very difficult for a NT teen but for the AS person it is BIG. My 21 yr old doesn't realize her limitations. Her peers are either in collage or married so she wants to do as they do.When she was in high school she decide she wanted to go to a big university and become an art teacher. She just isn't collage materiel. All through high school she was in Special Ed classes and the teachers kind of passed her through. She received a certificate of completion of 12 grades and went through the graduation ceremony. She has never been able to pass her istep tests in school. With her poor motor coordination her drawing is pretty much stick figures around 2nd grade drawing. But in her mind she is a great artist.A group team of her art teachers, resource teachers, Voc Rehab folks and someone from the developmental disabilities group came school to discuss her future with her and I. Her art teacher addressed her passion for art then very gently explained to her that there wasn't much future in art. Her goals were not realistic. To satisfy her I took her to Ivy Tech and let her take the entrance test. To go to school there they have to get at least a 30 on the test. She got a 3.Next she decided she was going to get married. Unknown to me she started meeting guys on the internet and within about three different weeks decided she was going to marry three different guys she had met on-line. She was giving out her cell phone # and personal info. The last incident ended up in us taking out a restraining order against a kid who is on the sex register and on parole, who already had a wife, two kids and one on the way. He was still determined to marry her. It got kind of messy before it was over. Her very poor judgement and lack of reading people socially is scary. Much as we tried for her 21 years she is so unprepared for the adult world!A job shadow person from Developmental Disabilities, helped her get hired at Mc Donalds. She loves her work there and it has become her life. She does good there and feels important. She sees all the workers as her best friends and many of the regular customers. Some of the guys she's met there has been a bit of a concern to us because of her very poor judge of character.I discovered her missing one morning when I went to give her her meds. I called the sheriff who came out and did an intake on her as an endangered adult because of her Autism. They immediately got a detective on the case and located her at the guy's mom's place about an hr away and brought her home. Had I not had guardianship papers there's probably not much I could have done to bring her home since she's 21. At first she was very upset at me for "ruining her chance for marriage" but after everyone, including the detective, explained what her life would have been with this guy, she began to be thankful that we intervened. The detective also sacred her into deleting her "My Space" account on her computer! WHEW!The detective who worked the case said he just returned a 21 year old to her parents who was exactly like my 21 yr old. So many similarities. She ran off to another state with a very questionable character and it took a month to locate her. She was so good on the computer that they couldn't locate her through her computer because she knew how to cover her internet trail. Again had her parents not had guardianship they would not have been able to bring her home.Another question. Our children will probably outlive us. Then what? Most likely no one will be as protective of our special kids as we, their parent. And there isn't a long line of folks waiting for care for an Autistic adult. I would encourage all parents to get guardianship and get their Autistic child signed up for the Autism waiver. There's a long wait. We were on the waiting list about 9 years before her name finally came up. One of their benefits is to provide a group home or an apartment with someone overseeing house cleaning, personal hygiene, financial and bookkeeping assistance, social interaction etc. I will keep my girls home and care for them as long as I am able but I know that if something happens to me, the Autism waiver support folks will kick in. In the meantime, the Lord knows how much I am needed right here to care for these girls, so I have a feeling I will be around for awhile! :)
Friday, 15 May 2009
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SCHOOL (part 4)
School
(Home Schooling)
(part 4)
"Repetition is the mother of learning.
Read or listen to any material that's important to you
a minimum of six times to gain maximum retention."
-- Tom Hopkins
Many parents of Aspergers are home schooling their children. An Asperger mom shared the success of her home schooling experience. She was home schooled from 2nd grade through 8th and her only contacts were with adults. She felt that interacting with them taught her social skills and helped her learn how to work harmoniously side by side with NTs. When she went to public school she was shocked at the immaturity of her fellow students and their complete lack of discipline. She felt that forcing our child to interact with “normal” students will teach them social skills but will also teach them how cruel other children can be.
This mother felt like her children were fine in public school until one day her oldest boy was drinking out of the water fountain and another boy bashed her son's face into the fountain and then walked off laughing. She thought it was only an isolated incident until a few weeks later when she was called by the school to take her son to the ER. Some bullies had broken his arm after they beat him in the cafeteria. There were no adults in the cafeteria, but there were cameras: unfortunately the cameras didn't have anyone monitoring them and they were not recorded, so the other boys were never punished. It was her son’s word against theirs. After several incidents on the bus and situations that her daughter encountered with "normal children" while she was walking home from school, she just washed her hands of the whole deal, and began home schooling.
Since home schooling her Asperger children, not a single one of them has had a major meltdown, only some minor screaming at each other over sharing toys and who gets to use the science kits. There hasn't been any head banging, rocking, hand flapping, nothing. They were much more content than they had ever been, and they integrate fine with adults.
A good e-school; public school online, from home, is http://connectionsacademy.com " If anyone is interested in it, check out
The girls on the freshman basket ball team and the Varsity girls have surrounded her with love and acceptance. She considers them all very good friends today. They gave her a birthday party at one of the games, have given her rides, buy her cokes and made her things. I don't even know those girls but I appreciate every one who has reached out to her and made her feel a part of the group! It did a lot for her self esteem and made her more cooperative at home.
Successful teachers, have structure, routines, consistency, organization, and one-on-one help for the child, a positive attitude, a good sense of creativity and a whole lot of patience. The Asperger child needs to be surrounded with understanding and positive peer’s teachers and family, to build confidence in them selves.
Thursday, 14 May 2009
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School (part 3)
(High School & Sports)
My girls enjoyed middle and high school . They are blessed with mostly resource classes. My now 21 yr old who graduated in 2007 loved basketball. She stayed after school to practice for the tryouts. The evening I picked her up after tryouts, she was beaming from ear to ear I assumed she'd made the team but I was very surprised, since she has very poor coordination. She said, "Guess what mom?" "I didn't make the team but they made me assistant manager of the team!" She was ecstatic. The wonderful, sensitive coaches realized that she was "special" and needed to excel at something so they created that position for her! She went to all the games was made to feel she was a vital part of the team! I got this very nice note from one of her coaches:
Your daughter is a joy!! When we knew we wouldn't be able to keep her on as a basketball player, we wanted to create a spot specifically for her because we could see her enthusiasm for basketball and how much it meant to her to just be around the program. It has worked out great! She is a tremendous help to me and other coaches and players and she finds great joy in assisting us in any way we need. The players welcome her presence and enjoy every minute of her. Her everyday spirit is a lift to my players, especially those days that things aren't going their way.
I will tell you what I told her.........After this year, if she still would like to be a manager for us during her sophomore year she will earn a varsity letter at the end of that year which qualifies her to have a green and white letter jacket that I'm sure you've seen many of the students wear. It's an honor to earn one of those jackets.
Once again, we hold her very high in our program and are so glad that you are supporting her as well as us this year. Her responsibilities for us are very important and, as a team, we would struggle without her! Thanks again! Coach Doud...
Later I got this note from another coach:
"Your daughter has expressed an interest in being a manager for the track team. I am the varsity coach for the girls track team, and that would be great if it works out at your end." Ron
"We must learn to apply all that we know so that we can attract all that we want."
-- Jim Rohn
……………………………………
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
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SCHOOL (part 2)
"We must learn to apply all that we know so that we can attract all that we want."-- Jim Rohn
(Homework)
I have some real issues with homework. After a special needs student has struggled all day to focus on school work there is usually not much focusing left for doing homework all evening. We've had many homework battles that I felt were unnecessary. I believe that school work should be done at school! We need some family time too! Probably the educators who read this won't agree with me but I believe the ADD, ADHD child and the Aspergers child should not be given homework. Even in the working world as adults we should be able to come home from work, switch gears and leave the job at the job.
(The ideal, self contained classroom)
When my 16 yr old was in 4th 5th and 6th grade, she was in a wonderful self contained classroom. There were 8 to 12 students in her class and 3 teachers. They got a lot of one on one attention. On days when she couldn't focus, her teacher would let her study in a little study corral where the sights and noises were sort of blocked out. When she was really out there the teacher would let her study in a bean bag chair with a weighted vest. These sensory things are calming.
She had some homework but often the teacher would help her get it done in school. Sometimes when it looked like she's was not going to finish, her teacher would call and ask if she can keep her after school so they could do it together. Then the teacher brought her home. She would come in and we'd talk over coffee. Sometimes she even stayed for supper. What a thrill to have your teacher at the supper table! Mrs. Taylor even came to our house and helped her do homework.
This wonderful lady understands how stressed out parents can be dealing with these special children so on a couple occasions she has insisted my husband and I go out for the evening while she's baby-sat. (Babysitters are hard to find for Asperger children!) We were so blessed to have this very dear teacher and friend. My daughter had her three years in a row. It was a sad day when she went to middle school and left wonderful Mrs Taylor behind.
With all this extra help my daughter made the honor roll for those three years. I believe a lot of the credit goes to wonderful teachers who helped keep her on task. She started out in first and 2nd grade, before her Asperger diagnosis, making Ds & Fs. The right meds, right classroom setting and right teacher has made the difference. Many Asperger’s are intelligent but they need the right circumstances to work to their potential.
(School nightmares)
One night while my girls were in social skills classes in Indianapolis, 10 of the mothers sat at a round table discussing our Asperger children. School was a big issue. One mother shared that her AS son was arrested in 2nd grade for hitting and since then has been in the juvenile system several times because the school would not accommodate his needs. She said there was an IEP but no one was interested in following it. She was encouraged to file a complaint against her school system.
The law provides that each child is to receive an education that meets his/her needs. If there are special needs then the school is required by law to accommodate those needs. If you are struggling and don't know where to start, ask for a case conference and share your child's disabilities and needs. You may first need to ask the school to have him tested for learning disabilities, or take him yourself for testing. The testing can get rather "pricy" but I think if you request it the school is required to provide that testing.
Several other mothers shared similar stories of horrendous things done to their children by teachers who didn't understand or didn't believe in Aspergers. I felt very blessed to have my girls in the school they are in. There was a price to pay to achieve this kind of school. Our school hearing helped the next generation.
Here's an interesting bit of wisdom that I think especially applies to our Aspie children. I watched my girls and was amazed at how much they learned through their play. These students learn best by doing fun things....
It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate
between a time for learning and a time for play
without seeing the vital connection between them. -
Leo Buscaglia, author (1924-1998)...
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
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SCHOOL (part 1)
School
(Part 1)
"A mind that has been stretched will never return to its original dimension."
- Albert Einstein-
We looked forward to school with great anticipation. It was a chance to finally blend in with a group and learn some social skills that we hadn't been too successful in teaching our son. Hopefully school would "fix" the things that weren't coming together. Nothing like a little peer pressure to make one want to conform. It didn't happen!
Kindergarten was rough. We discovered some serious coordination skills compared to the other students. Hard as he tried he just couldn't measure up to kindergarten standards. The teacher said it was pretty important that he take Kindergarten over. So we agreed. It was towards the end of his second year that he was finally able to write his name. How could one who used such big words and be so knowledgeable of the world around him, barley make it through his second year of kindergarten? He wasn't ready for first grade but they sent him on.
His teachers complained that he wouldn't concentrate on his work but when they ask questions verbally he was often the first one to raise his hand and quite often had the right answer. Most of his tests and report card grades were "Fs" a few "Ds" occasionally a "B" and even a few "As". His teachers would say, "The most consistent thing about our son is his inconsistency."
He knew his work, he learned along with the rest, but he couldn't put it on paper. He couldn't stay focused on school work long enough to accomplish much of anything. His third grade teacher said she could get the most out of him when she would touch him. Lay her hand on his shoulder or arm and tell him to look her in the eye. She would tell him something and ask him to repeat it back to her. Most of his teachers really tried to help him learn. They saw his hunger for learning and his ability to soak up scientific facts.
His IQ test scores were very low but there was usually a note attached saying his environmental knowledge was above average, and they didn't think his test scores were accurate. They weren't! His resource teachers were helpful but they were frustrated with his lack of attention and poor grades, inability to read and very poor handwriting.
In 6th grade, things escalated. Our son was bringing home almost all "Fs" and incomplete papers. The school or maybe the teacher had a policy that 5 or 6 unfinished homework or classroom assignments and the student was paddled. He was paddled about once a week for work he couldn't do, (Testing showed he was reading at second grade level) and he was developing a hatred for school. The child welfare department later referred to his weekly paddlings for something he mentally and physically couldn't do, as "institutional child abuse."
We called for a case conference. I came away from that, very frustrated. Our school was class conscious, and the powers that be, would not recognize they had learning disabled students in their prestigious school.. Their response was, "He could do it if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to." "He's acting this way because of a lack of discipline!"
Things didn't change, so we called for another case conference. The head of the Special Ed Department came into the meetings looking very bored and disinterested. He kicked back, propped his feet up on the table, and ate candy throughout the meetings. I think he stated that the school didn't have learning disabled students. We were hoping to get a self contained classroom for the many special needs students whose mothers were as frustrated as I was at the lack of provision for their learning disabled.
After the third case conference and getting no where, we called for a hearing. Together with a couple of wonderful LD advocates, who helped us prepare our evidence files. (The file was over an inch thick.) A hearing officer came from Indianapolis and the hearing continued for 21 hours, over three days. February 8, 1982, February 13, 1982 and February 18, 1982. It was conducted as an open court room setting. We didn't get our self contained classroom but as a result, the hearing officer made the school change 26 things to accommodate our son’s learning. School changed drastically after that for him. The list below is what the school was ordered to do for our son:
(1) The IEP modified so that no paddling be affected for non completion of homework.
(2) The IEP modified to show all sentences concerning completion of homework be tape recorded rather than written.
(3) The IEP modified to include a suggested discipline technique for the child would be that the playground teacher supervises the number of jumping jacks commensurate with the child's infraction.
(4) The IEP modified to show that teachers try conversations with eye to eye contact as a discipline measure.
(5) The IEP modified to include that another suggested method of discipline is to explain the consequences of not doing a particular task by the time the teacher's count reaches a certain number and follow through on that action if the child does not cooperate.
(6) The IEP modified to forbid the deprivation of more than one third of the child's available recess time for disciplinary reasons.
(7) The IEP modified to include that teachers provide verbal and written praise for good work.
(8) The IEP modified to include that the teachers give special privileges to reward the child for good work and motivate the child to further achievement.
(9) The IEP modified to suggest that one special privilege to be given is the opportunity to go to the homerooms of other classroom teachers, within the rule structure of the school, to receive additional one-on-one instruction and help with homework assignments.
(10) The IEP modified to require that during each in-class study period the classroom teacher devote a reasonable amount of time to one-on-one instruction with the child.
(11) The IEP modified to show that the child may answer math homework assignments and tests on paper other than the ditto sheet containing the questions.
(12) The IEP modified to show that the child receives further training on and be given more use of the school computer in his math assignments.
(13) The IEP modified to provide for extensive instruction on use of the tape recorder so that the child can operate the recorder without aid from other persons.
(14) The IEP modified to provide that the child receive typing instruction.
(15) The IEP modified to show that the child be given the opportunity to use the tape recorder and/or a school typewriter when ever possible for homework or test papers if such use is applicable to the particular assignment.
(16) The IEP modified to require that the child sit next to the teacher in each classroom.
(17) The IEP shall indicate that regular classroom teachers modify homework assignments for this child so that the child has the capacity to accomplish all homework assignments and still show mastery of the subject matter.
(18) The IEP modified to indicate that each teacher record on the tape recorder, provided to the student, the oral reading of chapters of study and oral instructions given for homework during each classroom period.
(19) The IEP modified to indicate that the child receive an additional fifteen (15) minutes in the multi-categorical resource room.
(20) The IEP modified to require the resource room teacher to work with the child regularly on his visual-motor skills.
(21) The IEP modified to include that the resource room teacher shall work with the child regularly on reading to himself and silent reading.
(22) The IEP modified to provide for the use of peer tutors for a one month trial period and an evaluation at the end of the trial period.
(23) The IEP modified to provide regular counseling from the vice principal (One of the people at his school who seemed to understand Levi)
(24) The IEP modified to include that the child shall receive instruction in good study habits and organizational skills, possibly by the vice principal, resource room teacher or social studies teacher.
(25) The IEP modified to provide that as many of the modifications as possible will be modified to indicate that as many of the modifications as possible will be effected during the homeroom period.
(26 The IEP modified to provide for a monthly conference of the child's teachers to assess the child's needs and specific suggestions to meet those needs.
Some of these 26 things would be considered very outdated by today's standards.
I believe that partly due to that hearing over 25 years ago, that our Asperger girls have enjoyed a wonderful, nurturing, self contained classroom in that very same school today. We've come a long ways!
"Training is anchored to the past. Education looks toward the future."
-- Nido Qubein
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